Paloma's Rhinoplasty Journal with Pictures!

I can still remember that afternoon when I knew I was botched. I can remember standing in front of the mirror while gently unpeeling the bandage under my nose to change my bandage. The memory of what I saw still makes me afraid. It looked like a huge ball at the tip of my nose and my columella was severely retracted. I just cried and hoped that after the swelling would subside I would have a nose that would look normal. However, I had an intuitive feeling that all was lost.

This was my 5th nose job with the same oral and maxillofacial surgeon. How I arrived at this point was just one mistake over the other. It was a combination of gullibility, naivety, immaturity and desperation that lead to what I was seeing before me. Strangely enough I believed all the reasons as to why I received one undesirable outcome over the other. One of the reasons that Dr. X gave me was that "Hispanics have funny noses". So I honestly believed that he was doing all he could for his complicated patient. How could I not. I had such a long history with this surgeon. He did after all correct my malocclusion. I always trusted and respected the medical profession all my life and reality just came down like a ton of bricks.

I can still recall those days and nights I was whimpering and sobbing like a wounded animal. I kept my lights dim and avoided mirrors. Although I was alive, I felt like my soul was dead. I would drag myself to class and work and it some how gave me both a goal and a distraction.

As frustrating as it was I continued to see Dr. X for his consultations and one day he actually told me he was sorry and that he messed up. I really can't remember those exact works he used. He even admitted that aside from me he had another "difficult" patient. He went on to state how he had "another 50 who came out right." I was thinking to myself that I paid for his learning curve. All I asked him was for my money back or for another qualified surgeon to help me. Surprisingly, he agreed to both, however I declined his choice of surgeon. Ironically, I was working for a lawyer at the time and he was pessimistic that much could be done. He said that the medical profession was difficult to sue because they destroy documents, change documents or shift the blame on the nurses. I consulted with other attorneys and although they gave different reasons most declined. The only attorney, who offered to assist, requested $10,000 for a retainer. He also suggested that I should "just move on" and pay for a "top notch surgeon" to repair the work. So reluctantly I did move on. To an impoverished college student, I simply could not spend any more time and energy on this matter. As difficult as it was life had to go on.

This period of my life was the most depressing ever. A combination of marital problems and the reality of the surgery almost sent me over the edge. I am not sure how, but I dragged on for four years. Somehow I graduated from UTD with a 3.2 GPA and I eventually I secured a sought after job with the government. Slowly, the pieces were coming together.

Around July of 2001 I paid a visit to Dr. Toriumi and after consulting with several other surgeons, he made the most sense. Between July of 2001 to July of 2003, I saw him a total of four times. Those visits were depressing as well, the anxiety I felt made me nauseous. I kept waiting for him to give me the thumbs up for surgery. Through meeting him, I was able to realize how difficult and unusual my case was. The gray spots on my nose were just one indicator as to how complex my situation was. I never asked him for specifics on what I wanted to change. I felt that I did not have that right because my situation was complicated. Sometime in September 2001 I decided to just forget this whole thing. However, as time went by certain aspects of my nose got better (the skin) while others got worse. I was waking up with splitting sinus head aches due to a deviated septum. So on June 2003, I decided to have the surgery. Since I accrued enough sick time to undertake such a large commitment, I decided that the time was right.

I had a little over a month to plan. So many thoughts were running through my head. Who will take care of me in Chicago? Can I afford this? Should I do this? What if I die in Chicago? Okay first things first. Regarding money, since I have excellent credit, I was able to finance most of the surgery. I told myself its either all or nothing. This was absolutely no time to be cheap.

Financial Check List:

Hotels stay for 10 days at the Ramada Inn at O' Hare www.cheaprooms.com
Round trip airfare for two (for my friend Marcie and I) www.spirtair.com
Groceries to be delivered by www.peapod.com
Electric Skillet
Vitamins, supplements and prescribed medications by Dr. Toriumi
Plenty of money for cab fare
Money for six post-opt visits
Portion my insurance would not cover

After looking at the total, I told myself that if I can not completely afford one of these necessary items on the list, I will not go through with it.

Before I knew it, that surgery date rolled around. Luckily, one of my friends was able to join me. As we took that red eye flight to Chicago, I looked at her and said "do you think I am making the right decision?" She said, "You are doing something for your health and confidence; you are doing the right thing."

On the day of the surgery, I walked into the surgical center and the ball was in motion. I was greeted by a professional staff which included two nurses, one anesthesiologist and lastly Dr. Toriumi. If it was not for the friendly anesthesiologist I would have not felt as comfortable as I did. The last thing I remember was her telling me to think of "your favorite place". My mind wandered to the Border's book store on Michigan Street. I was thinking of being on the 3rd floor drinking hot chocolate and sitting by the window. I was thinking of all the time I spent day dreaming there, looking at the people, looking at the lights and knowing that one day my life will be picture perfect as what I saw outside that window. I felt so safe there, safe from the cold. That was my last memory before surgery…

I remember waking up and all I could remember was thanking God I was alive. Since I have been under several times I was afraid I was pushing my luck. I woke up on this recliner with ice over my eyes. My first reaction to try and get up and that was when I realized that they used my rib to repair my nose. The aftercare was less than desirable. The nurse who was "taking care" of me seemed slow and indifferent. When I threw up, he did not clean it, I had to put a hospital gown over it before I slipped on it. Despite having vomit on my gown, (and the extra one on the floor) he did not change my gown or my socks. My friend had to do it. Although he was very talkative, I felt that he was just not willing to take care of the "icky stuff". Over the next few days my friend took very good care of me, I ate very well while relaxing with the ice packs over my eyes. She made sure that I took my mediations. Because of the rib and ear harvesting, this was the first time I needed the pain killers. While in a daze, I sometimes felt I was in Las Vegas when I heard the commercials for Momma Mia and the Blue Man group. As my strength increased I walked around the hotel lobby with my bandages. I told several people that I got into a fight. I had to humor myself some how.

A few days later I went to see Dr. Toriumi to get my bandages and cast removed. He poured this orange liquid over my nose and the cast slipped off. To my relief there was no packing to remove. I could tell by the look on his face that he was happy with the results. I asked for a mirror, I guess I was impatient since I got up and walked to the mirror on the wall. My smile said it all. I can not remember feeling this happy. My sunken in bridge was now strong, my tip was defined and the scar that was on my nose was diminished. He told me that I still had swelling; but, heck it still looked good. I will never forget walking down State Street. I was so happy. Somewhere on State Street I found a Sally's beauty store. I spent a good 10 minutes just looking at the mirror. I'm sure every one thought I was crazy but it felt so good to look in the mirror. For the first time in a long time, I bought a mirror.

Although it was a long road, I am glad that it has finally ended. My passion for life has returned. The memories of the sadness I endured for four years has been replaced with optimism and confidence.

Before & After Photos! -

Before

1997 nose	before any thing (1996) and after maxillofacial work and 4th nose job (2000)

Before Toriumi (below)
before - front	before - lateral
before - left oblique	before - right oblique
before	computer imaging
computer imaging

After Toriumi

side	oblique
kind of oblique lol	upwards, note scar tissue is lessened
front, note scar tissue is lessened	ear cartilage removal scar
rib & ear cartilage leftovers being stored under scalp, 1 in behind ear	rib cartilage removal scar
Update! January 18, 2004
Update! January 31, 2004
Update! August 21, 2005 When you click on these photos to see the larger versions, please be advised that they are high resolution and may take a while to load. She wanted you all to see the quality of the skin, how it has thickened (it used to be paper thin) and that there are bumps but she is very happy with the results that she received. She thought she'd never look normal again. For your convenience, these photos will launch in a new window.